


Giving In To Temptation

by silveradept



Category: Monty Python and the Holy Grail (1975)
Genre: Breaking the Fourth Wall, Castle Anthrax Is a Maze of Twisty Passages All Alike, Consent Issues, Extremely Dubious Consent, F/M, Get On With It!, It's Galahad's Consent That's Not Enthusiastic, Oral Sex, Spanking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-06
Updated: 2021-02-06
Packaged: 2021-03-18 08:41:59
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,963
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29240790
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/silveradept/pseuds/silveradept
Summary: All Galahad wants is to find the Grail, or if it's not in Castle Anthrax, to get out and continue his quest. The maidens of Castle Anthrax have a very different idea in mind, and they're all conspiring against him to make sure the laws and decrees of the castle are carried out to the letter.
Relationships: Dingo/Galahad/Zoot (Monty Python and the Holy Grail)
Comments: 10
Kudos: 14
Collections: Chocolate Box - Round 6





	Giving In To Temptation

**Author's Note:**

  * For [flowerdeluce](https://archiveofourown.org/users/flowerdeluce/gifts).



The castle was a maze. Every time Galahad tried to find the exit, he always came back to the same door leading back to the bedroom he had just left. If he could find the kitchens, the ramparts, even perhaps a set of dungeons, they would help him find the layout or at least give him a sequence to follow, but no such fortune smiled upon him.

He'd seen the Grail. Or, at least something that looked like it. No, he mustn't believe that wicked girl, Zoot. No projection of flame could produce such a clear image against the heavy rain. The Grail was here, and this castle was simply one of the tests put in front of him to see if he was worthy of it.

And then there were the inhabitants. It simply didn't seem possible that this castle could be sustained by eight score of women, much less of the age Zoot claimed they were. The work of growing food alone would be difficult enough, much less the rest of the necessary chores. If this castle thrived as well as it did, there must be some magic sustaining it. All the more reason for Galahad to tread carefully. Before setting out on this quest, Gawain had just returned and regaled them all with the remainder of the story that started when he cut off the green man's head. Apparently, the knight's wife had been extremely hot for Gawain and trying to seduce him constantly, and only his knightly virtue and respect for the sacred bond of marriage had kept him from indulging her. Which turned out to be the best thing, because her husband was the green knight and resisting temptation had allowed Gawain to avoid having his own head cut off.

"Hello!"

Galahad managed not to scream this time as Zoot appeared from seemingly nowhere.

"Where is the Grail?" he pleaded.

Zoot's expression took on an annoyed pout. "Don't you care about anything else? You should be in bed, resting and letting the doctors look at you."

"The Grail is more important, and if someone who is properly pure can possess it, it will heal all their wounds. If you have it, I must see it and being it back to Arthur."

"Then I fear your wounds are worsening, sir knight, and beginning to addle your mind. We have no grail, only a beacon shaped like one. And yet, you still refuse to properly punish the one who lit it. Zoot has been chastened significantly, but she will not fully be forgiven until she has suffered the appropriate penalty. Why do you delay in enforcing the will of Castle Anthrax?"

Galahad hesitated. For one, he had mistaken the normally demure and somewhat sweet Zoot for her identical, and significantly more stem and perhaps bloodthirsty identical twin Dingo. For another, he was not the lord and protector of this castle. Matters of discipline should be administered by the person actually in change of the place, rather than some random knight. While he thought Dennis's regular rants about governance relying on a mandate from the masses was clear nonsense, he did have a point about watery tarts distributing swords, even though Galahad was certain that system had selected a good king in Arthur. And finally, he couldn't quite believe that the punishment for deceiving a knight (and a great many other things) was, in fact, to tie the maiden to the bed and then spank her. And furthermore, why would they seem so gleeful about the possibility of being spanked? There wasn't any rea—

 ** _Get on with it!_** the readers of the fic screamed.

"Yes, please do," Dingo said. "We have a lot of very horny young women here, and a lot of smut to cover before the end."

"Who are you talking to?" Galahad inquired.

"No one in particular," Dingo said. "Now, let's get you to bed, and out of that awful armor, so the doctors can have a proper look at you."

Galahad felt extremely tired. The impregnable layout of the castle, the impossible ways that the women could appear and disappear at all times, their insistence on tending to him even in his health, all of it was exhausting. Perhaps after a small nap, he could return to the problem of finding the Grail in this magical castle.

Dingo led him back to his room, where six maidens he had not seen before were waiting inside.

"Laundry day," the first of them said cheerily, before turning to the other five. "Strip him," she commanded. And with that, all six set upon him with single-minded desire to relieve him of every last scrap of linen and metal he wore. Galahad had been in several pelmel before, but fighting many men with weapons was a very different battle than this, where each touch undid a knot or relieved him of a piece of his armor, and repelling one of them only gave more opportunities for the other five to attack. In very short order, Galahad had been relieved of all but his undertunic, which he clutched closely to his body, very aware that his nakedness would soon be available for all to see.

"In here."

This time, Galahad did scream at the sudden appearance of Zoot (it had to be Zoot, Dingo was still in front of him, trying to get the last of his clothes off), but as the wall fell away behind him, his scream only echoed in the dim passageway. Secret passages made so much sense as to how the inhabitants could get around without being seen, and why the castle was so confusing to navigate. Perhaps he could find a way to freedom with this knowledge. Well, after he found his way to the laundry to collect the rest of his clothes.

Zoot led him to a spacious bath, where a tub of gently streaming water awaited. "This is my private bath," she said. "None but me know the way in or out. Now, I will go lead them on a chase so you may have some privacy." And with that, she disappeared back into the passage they had come from, leaving Galahad by himself. He waited to see if she would immediately return, or some other maiden would appear and try to finish the job the others had started. The heat from the bath was enticing. He still needed to be vigilant, but he had not been able to wash the dust of the road and the grime of his horse for days. A quick bath would certainly help with that, and he could keep his undertunic very close by. Zoot certainly seemed to be doing her part to keep the pursuit away. There was a slight scent to the water in the bath as well, pleasant but not overpowering, that would also help the business of being a knight wash away from him.

Sinking in to the tub, Galahad let out a sigh as the heat of the water penetrated his muscles and began to loosen the tension he had been carrying the last several days. It reminded him of Camelot and Arthur, and the time they spent in the castle when they weren't having to ride somewhere to keep the peace of the kingdom and show the chivalry of the Round Table. Once he retrieved his clothing, he could go forth, refreshed, and continue seeking the Holy Grail with his fellow knights, pure of heart and purpose.

A small giggle brought him back to his senses. He'd closed his eyes while enjoying the bath, and snapping them open, he saw a small figure disappear away, a scrap of cloth following behind her. Looking over the tub's edge, he nearly swore as he understood that scrap of clothing he'd spied had been his undertunic.

"Wicked, bad, naughty, evil Zoot!" one of the two twin maidens standing before him said, a mocking grin on her face. It was clear to Galahad that both of them were standing with an eye to being able to see anything they liked. "Lure the knight in with the promise of rest," the other one said, equally appreciative of what she could see, "and then steal his last defenses. Certainly not sporting, but quite effective." 

"Oh, come off it," the first one, probably Zoot, said. "You're just jealous that I finally got one to stay here long enough to get him naked."

The other one, likely Dingo, considered this or a moment, then nodded. "Well, we know what happens now, Sir Knight," she said. "There's been more than enough transgressions against you that you'll be quite busy with all the spankings."

"I could refuse," Galahad said.

"You don't seem like the kind of knight who would walk around a castle full of eight score maidens wearing naught but his own skin," Dingo told him. "And especially not in a castle where all eight score of those maidens would demand a _very personal_ apology for exposing himself to them so wantonly and inflaming their passions for someone not their husbands."

Galahad thought for some time, looking for some way that he could escape the fate set before him, but could not find some way out that would neither sully his name as a knight nor cause sufficient offense that he would be unworthy of the Grail.

"Well," he said, "I suppose you're right. Lead me to the spanking."

"A spanking!" Zoot shouted delightfully.

"A spanking!" Galahad heard echoed repeatedly from multiple places, even if slightly muffled because of the walls. Resigned to his fate, Galahad raised himself from the tub and accepted a covering from Dingo.

"A wise decision," Dingo murmured to him as she handed him the covering. "If you kept delaying, we'd never get to the fun parts."

Feeling somewhat like the sacrificial lamb, Galahad followed the twins through another confusing maze of passageways before arriving in what was clearly supposed to be the court hall. In the middle of the space, a bench, covered mostly in padded leathers, had been erected, clearly meant for the punishment that had been shrieked throughout the castle on the way. It seemed the entirety of Castle Anthrax's residents had turned out to witness the spectacle, each assuming their place with the swiftness of long practice. The anticipation in the air was palpable, held back only by the barest desire to see the ritual performed through to the end.

"Castle Anthrax!" Dingo's voice boomed out, hushing the crowd. "We are here to witness the punishment of Zoot for the crime of lighting the grail-shaped beacon and taking advantage of a knight's quest!" 

Zoot curtsied before Galahad, completely unrepentant.

"In accordance with the laws of Castel Anthrax, the punishment for lighting the grail shaped beacon is—"

"— ** _A SPANKING!_** " the maidens roared back delightedly.

"Come, Sir Knight. Deliver the punishment that is due to the one that gave offense. Strip her properly and spank her good and hard," Dingo said. She leaned in closer to him and whispered, "And do it quickly, or they'll start shouting 'Ni' at you."

"We haven't gotten to that scene yet," he whispered back, grimacing at the powerful word.

Zoot steadied herself on the bench, settling into a position that positioned her bottom at a convenient height for Galahad to strike.

"And this isn't like that green knight story that Gawain told, right? Someone's not going to show up and demand to give me everything that I give to you?" Galahad said nervously as he approached her.

" _God_ , no," Zoot said. "Now hurry up, everyone's waiting."

Galahad raised her shift to expose some rather exciting underwear that did not cover any of the surface he was expected to strike. Hesitantly, he reached out to touch her and squeeze her, testing the firmness and give of her remarkably well-formed ass.

"The melons are up front, Sir Knight," Zoot said mockingly. "Perhaps if you're good with the spanking, you'll get to play with them next."

The frustration in Galahad finally boiled over. He had been hoping to find the sacred and holy Grail, only to be deceived by a wicked woman, his clothes stolen, his nakedness leered at, and an entire castle that seemed determined to prevent him from getting back to his quest with their insistence on his rest and their brazenness at trying to get to his manhood. If they wanted a spanking, he'd make sure they couldn't sit for a week.

The first stroke rang out across the hall, Zoot yelling in surprise at the shift in demeanor, the rest of the hall leaning in to listen for the next one. With each successive swat, Zoot began to squirm, and then to shy away from his hand as much as the furniture would allow her to do so, but Galahad was a knight of the Round Table, trained to be sure of hand, and to make sure all of his blows struck their target, no matter how they moved and darted, or at whatever range they were at. And he had been trained to follow through and ensure that when he set to a task, he did not stop until it was completed, and he did not tire easily.

"Mercy!"

"Hold!"

Galahad stopped, a hair's-breadth from yet another blow. His determination still flowed through him, and at a moment, he would resume the task before him.

"It's supposed to be sexy, not painful," Dingo said crossly. "How many people reading this do you think are going to be into that kind of masochism?"

"Did you have a good time, Zoot?" Galahad asked, choosing not to be baited into more breaking of the fourth wall.

" _Yes_ ," Zoot said enthusiastically, turning her head to look at Galahad. Her eyes seemed unable to focus, and as she removed herself from the bench, her legs took a little time to find purchase and support her weight, which concerned him about whether he had harmed her more than she desired. It looked like some of the earliest blows he had given were already starting to turn deeper colors than the bright red tableaux that slowly disappeared from sight as Zoot adjusted her shift.

"And now," she called, slightly shakily, "the oral sex!"

The hall erupted into cheers as Dingo swiftly took away the covering that she had given Galahad in the bath. "Your turn on the bench," she said. "It's really quite comfortable." Galahad glowered at her for her quickness, and for exposing him so easily, but he followed her directions on where to place himself, and to make sure that he was not on any bare wood anywhere, because splinters were the biggest mood-killer. Once Dingo was satisfied, she motioned to Zoot to take her place. Satisfied, Dingo swung one leg over Galahad's face, adjusting her own shift so as to give him a full view of her own exciting underwear. This was apparently the signal for Zoot to begin, as his member was swiftly engulfed by her lips.

"Are you sure you want this?" Galahad said.

"Oooh," Dingo said in reply, "You've got a nice buzz there, Sir Knight. I think I will very much enjoy hearing you moralize while you're between my thighs."

"Oh, God," Galahad said, as Zoot slowly suckled the length of him. Dingo gave a small sigh in response. "Yes, exactly like that," she said.

Both Zoot and Dingo began to make pleased sounds as Zoot continued to take him in and out, using her tongue to stroke right behind his head when he was mostly exposed, and holding him deeply within her mouth when she had the length of him inside. She drew oaths, exclamations, and prayers from him with her work, which made Dingo squeal and wriggle in delight, pressing herself onto his mouth and occasionally clenching his head with her legs when he was particularly vocal, the fabric of her underwear slowly becoming more and more wet. She seemed to know when he needed to breathe more than she desired her pleasure, but the resting periods for his lungs never seemed to be long enough, and Zoot never relented but for small periods herself, presumably for her own needs. Time became less of a certainty and more of an abstract, until there was a certainty working its way up the shaft of his no longer pure self. He tried to shout a warning, a plea, anything that might stop what was happening and give Zoot the opportunity to consider what she wished next, but the more he struggled and tried to free himself, the harder both Zoot and Dingo bore down on him, as if he were behaving exactly the way they wanted him to. With a last, extremely muffled cry, he spent himself in Zoot's mouth as Dingo shuddered around him.

And with that, the ordeal was over. Dingo lifted herself off of him, and, after his eyes had readjusted to the hall, he saw that he had not been the only one engaging in pleasurable practices. Shifts were adjusted, discarded, hanging irregularly, and their owners had taken up the entirety of the hall with their own debauchery. Galahad took in the sight before him and could only wonder at what had transpired while his view and his attention had been so taken up by the twins. His ears registered there was sound in the room, but he could not identify it with any clarity for some time as he surveyed what had happened, before the sound stopped and was replaced by a voice that Galahad knew all too well.

"In the name of Arthur, King of the Britons, open this door!"

Lancelot!

"Return to us Sir Galahad the Pure, last hope for the Holy Grail, so that we may continue our quest!"

 _Shit_.


End file.
